Saturday, November 29, 2008

St. Francis is the new Peach Pit.

The conspicuous absence of a television among our worldly possessions has conspired with our imagination to invent curious behaviors, the most recent example of which is an obsession with Veoh.

Veoh provides free access to back seasons of hundreds of bygone television shows. Alf. The A-Team. Buck Rogers. The Fall Guy. Alfred Hitchcock Hour. Arrested Development. The list goes on.

Bestowed upon us is the right to elitistly claim at parties, "We don't own a television," while still sneaking home to watch ten episodes a day of the original Beverly Hills 90210.

And like barnacles multiplying on a ship's rusted hull, this obsession has begat others.

Like, most recently, the obsessive quest for a "Peach Pit" of our own.

The Peach Pit! Where Brandon learned to gamble! Where Kelly passed out in the bathroom from too many diet pills on her 18th birthday! Where David fired Steve as his manager so he could secure an ultimately doomed hip-hop recording contract!

Every epic story requires a regular hangout where the main characters get together and chew the fat, literally.

This week Audrey and I found ours. And it's name is "St. Francis."

Over a Guiness Float, vegetarian chili and a 1/2 order of The Nebulous Potato Thing, it began.


Further evidence this place is our destiny called to us from among the Candy Dots and salt water taffy for sale in the St. Francis swag case. A message from our very muse.

All we need now is a couple of decent love triangles and some much bigger haircuts.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Come with me if you want to live.


A list of words I never used to say, that I now say almost every day:
1) hill
2) ocean
3) beach
4) golden gate bridge

A list of things I didn't used to eat, that I now eat almost every day:
1) Lemon
2) Plantain
3) Cilantro
4) Bee Pollen

A list of things my neighbor has said to me recently that might or might not refer to Proposition 215:
1) "I have the card."
2) "I gotta get some clones."
3) "There's this guy in Alta Vista Park every Saturday who sells these amazing, all-natural brownies."
4) "Seriously, if you ever change your mind let me know. I've got tons of this stuff."

A list of videos I've watched recently of my new governor on YouTube:
1) "My Favorite Body Part...The Aahhsss."
2) "Plain Zero."
3) "Come with me if you want to live."
4) "It's a mistake."

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Update From Mission Control

Attn: All Team Members
Re: "Life 5.0" Operating System Update

You may have noticed for the past 18 days that available network resources have been diverted toward system-wide testing of speculative entertainment programs (Beach Runner, Cafe Visiter, Latino Market Shopper and Beach Runner 2.0: Dog Owner Edition) and vital educational programs (Subway Figure-Outer, Up-Hill Bike Route Avoider and Hospital Locater).

Noticeable slow-downs during prime use hours are blamed on critical upgrade program (Job Seeker: SF Bay Edition) running in the background of main operating system.

"JS:SFBE" utilizes approximately 50% of total energy reserves available to run "Life."

We at Mission Control apologize for this slowdown, and are happy to announce that as of eleven-fourteen this morning "JS:SFBE" has concluded work on phase one of its upgrade.

Activity Report:
Username: AUDREY
Jobs Secured: 1
Title: CENTER DIRECTOR
Location: SYLVAN LEARNING CENTER
Sub Directory: SAN BRUNO, CA
Start Date: 12.01.2008
Distance from Mission Control: 12.4 MILES
Approximate Salary: CLASSIFIED
Operational Parameters: FULL TIME
Benefits: FULL



Promotions awarded all around.

Celebration to follow this evening at Le P'tit Laurent.

All team members invited to attend.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Lots of Love

I remember my dad told me about a news show he watched on New Years Eve, at the turn of the millennium. A journalist was interviewing a group of religious leaders about whether the world was about to end when the clock struck Y2K.

The main concern in any religious discussion being arriving at a workable definition of the word "god," the interviewer was attempting to establish a suitable definition so the participants in the discussion could agree to move forward into other topics within the conversation.

There was a Rabbi and a fundamentalist Christian reverend and a Catholic bishop, and they were all bickering back and forth about various disqualifying characteristics of their perceived opponents definitions.

Meanwhile the fourth member of the conversation, the Dalai Lama, kept calmly, incessantly repeating, "God is love."

"'God is love, God is love,' he kept saying," my dad told me. "Everyone else was arguing, but all the Dalai Lama kept saying was, 'God is love.'"

Expectations of what things should be get in the way of my ability to just let things be.

When I let go of my desire to be in control, wondrous miracles occur - my definition of a miracle being, "that which occurs which I did not expect to occur."

I did not expect to Elijah to love the beach.



It was a miracle how he ran like a child across the sand, chasing the waves into the sea, then retreating as they chased him back onto the shore. I felt his heart unlock and open up to the ocean. He sat in the sand by our side and surveyed the impossible landscape. How a dog born in a barn and raised on a farm could embrace so easily this alien horizon so inspired me that I almost wept. It makes a man happy to please another creature, on any level, even so simply as taking an old dog to the beach for the first time.

After the beach I felt my heart open again, wider still, as we attended the Free Farmer's Market, a neighborhood vegetable giveaway in the Mission, two blocks from our home.



By virtue of our address we are welcome any Sunday, between 1 and 4 in the afternoon, to come by 23rd and Treat Street and help ourselves to free, organic vegetables and greens, organic citrus fruit, organic artesian bread and free plant starts, courtesy of a man who calls himself "Tree."

"Tree" started this neighborhood garden so that, in his words, "People from the neighborhood would have a reason to meet each other and say hello, and so working people could get their hands on some organic, fresh food that doesn't cost an arm and a leg."

Tree maintains the public garden and solicits unsold organic produce donations from the various farmer's markets around the city. He gives everything away for free, including advice on how to maintain the starts. (Click the title of this post for a link to the free farm stand's blog.)

In exchange for our mere presence we were rewarded with a free persimmon, bok choy, a bushel of Russian chard, three tomatoes, a bag of walnuts, a green fig, an uncut loaf of spelt bread and a chard plant start, which we took home and planted in our back yard.

Along with the lemon tree, the eucalyptus and the two banana trees, Eli and Pico will watch over it, nurture it, love it, and we will all hope for each other to grow.